is one of the most used and least understood words around.
We can make friends, enemies or be indifferent to anything
in the world. Love names the making friends, tolerating,
accepting it or incorporating it in one is experience of
the world. Naturally we can do any of these three in a range
between mild and strongly so. We may also feel that we must
DO something with or about it. First and foremost comes
"I love me, I love me, I'm wild about myself".
If you cannot like yourself it is tougher to like others.
Our society seems to recommend we find and use a role model
to shape ourselves. My view is that we had best come to
terms with what and who we are in our own intrinsic right.
Children play around with
role models at the time they play dressing up. They can
soak up another person as a whole in seconds and then play
around with which bits they will or can adopt. By the time
we become teenagers that has been sorted out for the most
part, only to discover, as adults, that some of our choices
were not too wise or smart. This results mostly from not
having enough role models to play around with. Here the
old tribal way which makes all children of the tribe belong
to all of the tribe works better. Besides in a changing
world we have to change our selves too, regularly updating
as it happens. In our society there simply are no role models
easy come by from people who can do so. This can be very
confusing as then each of us do it one way or another and
there is no way to settle what is the best or proper way
to do this.
Since our society is prone
to change only by making war and losing the battle this
loving business is, moreover, slightly unusual. In a first
place our genes make sure we will fall in love with people
one way or another but then insist we must make this a permanent
relationship. In a second place we do fall in love with
ideas and do the same thing when ideas tend to change when
we get older and our society too. Love thy enemy is another
one. There it amounts to simply tolerating this enemy and
accepting that we cannot be liked or loved by everybody.
It is guaranteed that for anything what ones people distribute
into those who make friends, enemies or stay indifferent.
We can further treat ourselves
with a sense of humour. Contrary to most pop opinions and
definitions of humour it concerns being detached enough
to see or recognise it in its own right. I am having that
experience right now. In the good old day or writing on
paper and typing one had to re-do it all over again. On
a computer we have spell checkers. They annoy me with their
ways so I am learning to both keep my mind on what I write
and spell check too. This has me get in and out of the spell
checker faster. They also give me a percentage rating on
how swell this one works. So we can arrange for a long term
goal or result in a here and now which enables us to change
the easy way. This works quite well contrary to the pop
idea that we can, may or must think of only one thing at
a time. I simply
unconscious to do this sort of thing
and do a pop-up when it notices.
This works by the same trick
as Pooh Bear getting an urge around elevenses for a jar
of honey. Change works better when
not done immediately but by exploring what kind of change
suits us better. This is a better usage of our habit system
than rote repetition.
Love seems to get muddled
up with belief that takes it as real. Love has little to
do with beliefs and only with the actual experience which
is nicer when we like it. One can and may experience it
without necessarily making it one's own. I know a person
here I call Black Cloud because she projects dark feelings
of rejection all over the place. I accept she can do that
but have no intention of copying her. The Government right
now seems to be making more and more laws and I don't like
love comes down to choices about acceptance...
people's freedoms. But as I
can do nothing about it I make myself be indifferent to that.
We seem to imagine that when it is real we must do something
about it. We debate, for instance, whether or not evil is
real or not, and then get guilty feelings about whether we
are right. Guaranteed we will find opinions for and against,
all held as if real.
Our entire body mind system
is organised to warn us when something inside and our outside
changes. To do this we build up and use a map or model of
the world, which is what theory mongering is all about.
Then it warns us when something in that map is not quite
kosher to have us judge and decide on this. Here too we
can explore further and play around with it, reject or ignore
it. It is this constancy of annoyance with certain things
that is not too efficient. In that case our habit system
is set up to do this by attaching this real label to it,
together with the habit of getting annoyed. Making war here
does not work. We have to accept and let it go. The world
is as it is and we can pick and choose what we like, negative
and positive. We can play around with the effects on our
inner well being to see how this works and we have plenty
examples on board anyhow. We can also play around with do
and cannot do too, and seldom done by adults. It is better
to first play around with trivial things like spell checking
to learn how this works.
Why, for example, do we have
no attitudes much about the daily routine of night and day
but do have one about dying when both are equally unavoidable.
How come we ignore that everybody makes an impression on
us? It is, in a way, quite fun to compile a listing of what
we like, reject and ignore, outside the range of what habitually
does this to us. In that way we collect evidence about how
it works on, in and for us. So, perhaps, love comes down
to choices about acceptance and whether or not we shall
or will incorporate it as our own doings when all it refers
to is how we use our map of the world.